3 Things to look for in an accountability partner

April 24th, 2012 by Patty Bear

You probably know or have heard that having an accountability partner increases your chances of success -no matter what goal you are working on. But not just anyone will do.

A friend, coach, or partner can keep you motivated, get you back on course (or out of bed) and keep you in the game long enough to actually win.  In fact staying in the game is the name of the game.  Stay in the game long enough and there are very few goals you CAN’T reach.

But not all partners are created equal!

There is a saying that , “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”.

Think about that.

Are you averaging up- or not?’

If you are serious about your goal it really does matter who you choose as your accountability partner.  It’s wonderful to spend time with friends,  but there are 3 things you must have in an accountability partner.

1.  Consistent and persistent

Research shows that people generally quit somewhere between 4-6 weeks.  That’s when the excitement of the goal has worn off and it starts getting hard. Does your partner stick with things?  If they quit when things get tough, you’ll not only not have a partner for long ,but he/she  will probably quit at the exact same time you are  swimming in doubt as well.  Pick someone who will hang tough no matter what.

2.  Celebrates your success without jealousy or envy

We all move at a different pace.  If you are a motivated person you’ll want to move fast.  Having a partner who often compares themselves to you or others steals your energy and defeats the purpose of getting good support.  Or, even worse, he/she may try to sabotage your success and slow you down so that they won’t  feel  bad.  Take a moment to honestly assess their maturity level.  Can this person be thrilled for you even if they are moving slower?

3.  Is encouraging AND has the courage and the ability to tell you the hard truth when necessary.

We all need encouragement.  We need people who believe in us and see our brilliance even when we most doubt it.  And we all have blindspots as well.  It takes courage for someone to tell us what we are afraid to see. That’s a real gift.  Our blindspots are the places where we are the most fearful and where we hide our genius and unknowingly sabotage our success.  Is this person encouraging and courageous in truth telling?

Nobody succeeds alone.  Nobody.  We all have a team.  Is yours lifting you up?  If not, who would?

In Joy,


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