Will you Murder your darlings?

September 25th, 2012 by Patty Bear

What you know about business you can apply to weight loss and what you learn about weight loss can change your relationships with people or money. It’s all connected! I write from this perspective so that no matter how you arrived at this newsletter you will find value in it for your life today…..

What are you more committed to than success?

I deal with weight loss success- not just losing weight for your high school reunion or your daughter’s wedding but real , long term , lasting weight loss.

Anybody, can lose weight for an event.

But lasting weight loss requires changing your thinking.

If you want a healthy, easily maintained, energetic body you’ve got to “think like a thin person”- shifting out of deprivation and into abundance thinking. That requires change, and changing your thinking requires that you challengei. your thinking.

Writers have a deliciously evil term for the kind of challenge that’s necessary to be effective.

Writers create volumes of words and many drafts on the way to a powerful, flowing, coherent , article or book. Before they are done more words are thrown out then kept and everything that’s kept must fit the central narrative. Sometimes the part that just doesn’t fit is an inspired, beautifully turned phrase that sounds like sheer poetry and genius, but it doesn’t fit the story.
So, out it goes.

Ruthless? Maybe.

But effective? Absolutely!

The whole is not served by this one cherished phrase no matter how attached they are to it. Writer’s have a term for this process called , “murder your darlings” Ending the struggle with weight requires just this kind of clear eyed thinking and choosing.

Are you willing to “murder your darlings”?

Are you willing to ask yourself the tough questions and edit anything that doesn’t serve you? If you are, weight loss can be easy and your ideal weight easily maintained.

All of the tough questions really come down to ONE question.

What are you MORE committed to than solving THIS problem?
Because that’s the source of your real heaviness. It’s the source of your struggle.

Murder your Darlings Challenge

Think about what you most often complain about (or secretly long for) and challenge your thinking here. Ask yourself the tough questions about what you are really committed to. I share some examples below , but realize that fat and/or struggle is just a symptom of a larger heaviness. So don’t be too literal around food or fat- focus on challenging your thinking about what sends you to food or to striving.

VIP- (very important principle) -this exercise is meant to be done from an open curious place- NEVER from a beat yourself up stance!


You wish people understood how hard you work and how much you do.

  • Am I more committed to struggle than to success?
  • Am I more committed to being valued than to getting the results I say I want?


You complain about feeling unappreciated.

  • Am I more committed to getting appreciation than to just solving my client’s problems?
  • Am I more committed to getting approval than profits?


You need people to know how busy you are.

  • Am I more committed to being “busy” than I am to getting organized?
  • Am I more committed to being “indispensable” than I am to finding a sane solution?


Finally… am I more committed to eating food that tastes good than I am to eating food that
feels good?

Want to lose weight on your body, in your business, or relationships?

Take a look at your mental commitments and “murder your darlings”.

Just let them go.

Lighten up!

In Joy,

Patty Bear owns The Flying Club®, is a pilot flying internationally for a major airline ,a wife, and a mom. As a coach, she helps busy “women on the go” who are starved for time, sick of dieting, but determined to be healthier. Her 6 month program Lighten Up & Lose shows you how to lose weight from the inside out so you feel young, live longer, and look great!


Leave a Reply

Website by Distant Support Services